You can't always get what you want

"You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need"

--Rolling Stones

It is so common to plan out your life and have all the steps in order to reach your goal with no purpose. My life is full of steps that I want to take, but they typically lead to failure.I initially thought I was going to be a occupational therapist, but after 1 1/2 years of school God decided to lead me to Union. I'm still not sure to this day how I got here, but when I look back I see it was the right thing for my life. I also thought I would be married by the age 20. I had everything planned and ready to start the life I thought I wanted. However, God threw me for a loop when I was dumped. So what have I learned? "That you cant always get what you want".

I thought that what I had planned was going to lead me to the most fulfilling life I could ask for, but boy was I wrong. God knew what He was doing when He sent me to Union. I met many great friends and the Lord opened many doors that lead me to ministry opportunities. I couldn't imagine my life without Union and the things I learned going there. Next, I thank the Lord all the time for delivering me from the relationship that I was in. I am now blessed to be in a relationship that is actually encouraging. It is so nice to know that I can lean on Ashton and that he will be the spiritual leader in my life. He uplifts me constantly and is overflowing in compliments. I'm convinced that I have never experienced real love until I met Ashton. Our love is so uncommon because it is selfless. I have learned what it's like to look out for the interest of others and not myself anymore.

My life is so much more amazing then what I ever had planned for it. How stupid for me to take a infinite God and try to fit him into my finite plans. I am so thankful that God didn't listen to me and instead kept pushing me to seek something more. Therefore, sometimes it's good that you don't get what you want because the majority of the time God has more in store than you can even imagine.

Thank you my sweet, sweet Jesus for directing my foot steps.

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9

Serving the least of these

I just finished working church camp in Nashville, TN where I worked at Preston Taylor Ministry (PTM),a tutoring center for at-risk children. These kids opened my eyes to a whole different world that I've never experienced. While my life has consisted of living in the middle of suburbia and spending my time at the mall or pool, my kids lives consisted of waking up and hoping they would make it one more day. My 5 year olds have seen people shot, some of my 6 year olds had been shot at, my 7 year olds are caring for their younger siblings while their mom is getting drunk, the 8+ year olds were learning how to defend themselves to stay alive. They were all hurting and all looking for something greater then themselves. Drugs, guns, prison doesn't scare these kids...love scares them. To have someone love them means that they will get hurt by them. One more person in their lives is one more person that can walk away from them. These kids are experts at saying goodbye because they've done it many times before. I can't help but think about one of my sweet boys LaRyan who has seen horrific things and he's only 9. LaRyan came to PTM one morning with dark circles around his eyes, dirty clothes, and a heavy heart. It was obvious he hadn't had much sleep. He began to tell me the story of why he didn't sleep. He explained to me in graphic detail of how his mom's boyfriend came in and began beating his mother. He threw her against the wall, cussed her out, and finally held a gun up to her head. They argued while LaRyan hid behind the couch to watch it all. After hours of beating, the man left the house. After he left he turned around and fired 5 gunshots into the house and luckily no one was hurt. The next morning LaRyan and his family were evicted from their house, he was now homeless. I never found out how the story ended, but what I do know is that there are kids all around the world hurting like LaRyan. When are people going to open their eyes and ears to the people crying out? So now I am preparing to move back to Jackson and start grad school. I got accepted into Union's Social Work program and so this new and unfamiliar journey is about to begin. I'm a little scared, but more so excited. Lately God has continued to put Mark 10:45 and Matthew 25:40 on my heart. Mark 10:45 says, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 25:40 says, "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" Not even the son of man came to be served. The Prince of Peace, Lord of Host, the Alpha and Omega, and Everlasting Father wanted to get His hands dirty and serve the people. He didn't stand back and let others do the work, He jumped right in. Lately God has taught me that my life is merely a vessel to bring Him glory. I am not on earth to pursue my desires and selfish ways, but to "Go and make disciples of all nations" (Matt. 28:19). I am sick of being a mediocre Christian just trying to get by. I'm ready to be sold out for Christ and live out the gospel shamelessly. I want to open my ears to those crying out, I want to help the hurting, and I want to love the unloved. I want to serve "the least of these". I am so excited about getting my MSW because I feel like I will be able to use that degree to help the poor, abandoned, lonely, homeless, hurting, and those searching for a eternal Savior. My platform in this world will be Social Work and my mission is to advance the gospel.

Lord, please use me even though I am so unworthy. All I have to offer is a willing heart.