The story of pain and the story of hope

When I was in Cape Town a month ago, we had an assignment to write "The story of pain and the story of hope". We had to first write about the things that we had seen that had just really burdened us. Then after we wrote about the things that troubled us the most, we had to write how we can find joy through the pain. It was a very short assignment that I did rather fast and never thought much about it. Today I was cleaning out my purse and found the Story of Pain/Hope crinkled up in the bottom of my purse. It was refreshing to read and I figured I would post it here.

The Story of Pain

Something that was so painful to see was the innocent children with HIV and AIDS. These innocent, precious faces that are cursed by something they had no control over. Also, it was more than painful to hear about the children at Miriam House and what they went through. They were treated like waste and as if they had no worth. Those at the Miriam House were rescued, but how many other children die because they were never given the chance to live?

The Story of Hope

God knows the numbers of hairs on their head. He is the creator and sustainer of life. Jesus loves the little children, seriously. He calls everyone to be child-like in their faith. He is the ultimate physician and can heal all wounds. He knows how to provide for His own. He is not a naive God, for He knows everything going on. He is omniscient and omnipotent. He is able to do everything and has a plan for everyone. These cursed children have a plan, they have have someone looking over them. He knows their names, their heart, and their story. He is raising up people in the community to start places of hope for them. To provide them with needed medicine and care. As for the babies that are abandoned and die, I choose to believe those are the ones He called home. He redeemed them from the painful world. They were not lost, they were found. They died so now they can live.

We serve such a big God and I often forget it. I take the weight of the world and put it on my shoulders as if I am strong enough to take care of all the burdens. I feel so helpless. Then, Christ slaps me in the face and says, "You don't have to be big enough to solve all the problems because I am big enough. You don't have to be smart enough to solve all the problems in the world, I'm smart enough. You don't have to save the world, I already came to save it. All you have to do is lead those people to Me. ME. I will use you if you just let me". How humbling that a worthy God lets me serve Him when I am not worth it.

"Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms.
The riches of Your love, will always be enough.
Nothing compares to Your embrace.
Light of the world, forever reign.
You are more, You are more, than my words will ever say.
You are Lord, You are Lord, all creation will proclaim.
You are here, You are here, in Your presence I'm made whole.
You are God, You are God, of all else I'm letting go."

Time To Remove The Make-Up

I am currently working on a Bible Study for a at-risk teen group that I mentor and I am writing my own lessons. Although this task takes a lot of extra-time, it has been so beneficial for me. It is so amazing to see what ends up on the paper when I finish a lesson, only for me to read over it and know that my fingers were simply typing God's words and not my own. I love writing, but know that I can take none of the credit. Nevertheless, I figured I would share one of my lessons in hopes that you find some Spiritual truth it it. Please ignore that grammatical errors, I just finished it and haven't even corrected it. Enjoy!

P.S.-This is a long series or steps to take to get ready every day. This is just one of those steps.

Make-Up

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Proverbs 28:13

Make-up is some girl’s favorite thing to pill on their face. Some girls like just a touch of make-up. Some girls don’t even like to wear make-up. Nevertheless, make-up is mainly used to cover up something. Foundation is commonly used to cover up pimples or imperfection on the face. Blush is to give girls color to their face and have the appearance of having rosy cheeks. Eye liner, eye shadow, and mascara are to enhance your eyes. Lastly are the lips. You can buy a million colors and type of lip gloss or lip stick. Your lips can look glossy or just look natural. They can be any color, from purple to pink to even green. They even make stuff that makes your lips look bigger. You can just about cover up any blemish you would like to.

Christian make-up is when we use simple things to cover up our sins. Instead of confessing our sins to Christ, we like to bury them deep inside and cover them. It is easy to have fun on the weekends and go crazy, but cover up that sin with your church attendance on Sunday morning. However, the more you bury sin and the more you try to put make-up on it, the worse it will get. No one likes a girl who piles on so much make-up that you don’t even know what she really looks like. The more you hide your sins, the more you will start looking like that girl covered in make-up.

Don’t lose yourself in the things you do. Christian make-up is only used to hide who God made you. However, it is time to wipe that make-up off and start clean. Have you ever bought waterproof mascara? That stuff is almost impossible to clean. No matter now much you rub it, wipe it, clean it, or anything, it stays right where it is. You have to get specific eye remover to get that stuff off and it still takes multiple cleanings before it’s gone. Being cleansed on your sin isn’t always the most pleasant process. It’s a lot easier to pile on the make-up then to take it off. However, let Christ be your face wash and remove everything you are hiding. Christ promises that we will find mercy is we confess and renounce our sins. Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” It’s time for a face wash.

Steps to removing make-up

1. Take time to praise Jesus for His mercy and give Him adoration

2. Confess the sins you are guilty of and ask for them to be removed

3. Thank God for removing those sins

4. Throw the make-up in the trash, it’s time to be all-natural.

You can't always get what you want

"You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need"

--Rolling Stones

It is so common to plan out your life and have all the steps in order to reach your goal with no purpose. My life is full of steps that I want to take, but they typically lead to failure.I initially thought I was going to be a occupational therapist, but after 1 1/2 years of school God decided to lead me to Union. I'm still not sure to this day how I got here, but when I look back I see it was the right thing for my life. I also thought I would be married by the age 20. I had everything planned and ready to start the life I thought I wanted. However, God threw me for a loop when I was dumped. So what have I learned? "That you cant always get what you want".

I thought that what I had planned was going to lead me to the most fulfilling life I could ask for, but boy was I wrong. God knew what He was doing when He sent me to Union. I met many great friends and the Lord opened many doors that lead me to ministry opportunities. I couldn't imagine my life without Union and the things I learned going there. Next, I thank the Lord all the time for delivering me from the relationship that I was in. I am now blessed to be in a relationship that is actually encouraging. It is so nice to know that I can lean on Ashton and that he will be the spiritual leader in my life. He uplifts me constantly and is overflowing in compliments. I'm convinced that I have never experienced real love until I met Ashton. Our love is so uncommon because it is selfless. I have learned what it's like to look out for the interest of others and not myself anymore.

My life is so much more amazing then what I ever had planned for it. How stupid for me to take a infinite God and try to fit him into my finite plans. I am so thankful that God didn't listen to me and instead kept pushing me to seek something more. Therefore, sometimes it's good that you don't get what you want because the majority of the time God has more in store than you can even imagine.

Thank you my sweet, sweet Jesus for directing my foot steps.

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9

Serving the least of these

I just finished working church camp in Nashville, TN where I worked at Preston Taylor Ministry (PTM),a tutoring center for at-risk children. These kids opened my eyes to a whole different world that I've never experienced. While my life has consisted of living in the middle of suburbia and spending my time at the mall or pool, my kids lives consisted of waking up and hoping they would make it one more day. My 5 year olds have seen people shot, some of my 6 year olds had been shot at, my 7 year olds are caring for their younger siblings while their mom is getting drunk, the 8+ year olds were learning how to defend themselves to stay alive. They were all hurting and all looking for something greater then themselves. Drugs, guns, prison doesn't scare these kids...love scares them. To have someone love them means that they will get hurt by them. One more person in their lives is one more person that can walk away from them. These kids are experts at saying goodbye because they've done it many times before. I can't help but think about one of my sweet boys LaRyan who has seen horrific things and he's only 9. LaRyan came to PTM one morning with dark circles around his eyes, dirty clothes, and a heavy heart. It was obvious he hadn't had much sleep. He began to tell me the story of why he didn't sleep. He explained to me in graphic detail of how his mom's boyfriend came in and began beating his mother. He threw her against the wall, cussed her out, and finally held a gun up to her head. They argued while LaRyan hid behind the couch to watch it all. After hours of beating, the man left the house. After he left he turned around and fired 5 gunshots into the house and luckily no one was hurt. The next morning LaRyan and his family were evicted from their house, he was now homeless. I never found out how the story ended, but what I do know is that there are kids all around the world hurting like LaRyan. When are people going to open their eyes and ears to the people crying out? So now I am preparing to move back to Jackson and start grad school. I got accepted into Union's Social Work program and so this new and unfamiliar journey is about to begin. I'm a little scared, but more so excited. Lately God has continued to put Mark 10:45 and Matthew 25:40 on my heart. Mark 10:45 says, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 25:40 says, "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" Not even the son of man came to be served. The Prince of Peace, Lord of Host, the Alpha and Omega, and Everlasting Father wanted to get His hands dirty and serve the people. He didn't stand back and let others do the work, He jumped right in. Lately God has taught me that my life is merely a vessel to bring Him glory. I am not on earth to pursue my desires and selfish ways, but to "Go and make disciples of all nations" (Matt. 28:19). I am sick of being a mediocre Christian just trying to get by. I'm ready to be sold out for Christ and live out the gospel shamelessly. I want to open my ears to those crying out, I want to help the hurting, and I want to love the unloved. I want to serve "the least of these". I am so excited about getting my MSW because I feel like I will be able to use that degree to help the poor, abandoned, lonely, homeless, hurting, and those searching for a eternal Savior. My platform in this world will be Social Work and my mission is to advance the gospel.

Lord, please use me even though I am so unworthy. All I have to offer is a willing heart.